P.S.S. it’s not as scary as you think

It’s been quite some time since I’ve hunkered down to write a post, but legitimate reasons and life happenings have kept me graciously on my toes.

You see, within the last 6 months my husband and I have experienced rapid life changes and happenings quite consecutively.

In July we had our incredible wedding.

In October we purchased our first home. 

Also, in October – we found out our first baby (Baby Powell!) was on the way. 

The following 3 life happenings are fairly drastic changes that typically are spaced over spans of time. But, as we have all experienced at some point before – life happens! It also happens in the most beautiful and magical of ways (yes, I always have to sprinkle my pixie dust here & there when I get the opportunity).

Within the last few years of getting serious about personal finances, it was incredible how often I stumbled upon opinions and posts on home buying, weddings and kids that made me beyond nervous. I mean sweating bullets, palms sweaty (like Eminem in Lose Yourself) nervous. How financially these events take a toll, how expensive they all can be, the negative implications they have on your life, and how they have the potential to strip away your financial independence. Since I read so many pieces reflecting such opinions, I questioned all of the following and whether they were worth it over and over again.

But I had to take a step back and re-evaluate. I took a hiatus from this space. I went back to my true aspirations, roots, and shared conversations with my husband, family and friends.

Regardless of what our generation is spoon fed on the daily (‘Travel everywhere so you can finally discover yourself! and ‘Don’t follow the American Dream!’ or how about ‘Millennials will never have enough money for retirement!’) – I couldn’t help but wonder what if I actually want all the things they’re telling me not to do all along? What if I feel I can discover myself right where I live, in my community, in the comforts of my home? What if I feel financially responsible enough to spend while simultaneously saving for retirement? It’s as if most of these thought pieces and articles make you choose one or the other. You simply cannot have both. They are mutually exclusive.

I knew I wanted to have a wedding with the man of my dreams. I knew I wanted to purchase a home that could be filled with love and memories. I knew I wanted to have a kid (or kids).

Why do people keep saying these things are so wrong?!

That’s when doubt came in and I had to take a break. It was challenging to keep reading work that spoke so highly against what I have always dreamed while growing up. I understand the concepts of living your life by your own design, but sometimes that still includes some of the traditions of the past.

Maybe the idea of reaching financial independence at a young age isn’t exactly what I desire – but it surely doesn’t mean that I am being reckless with my finances either.

So I am here to share with you P.S.S. and that all of these wonderful life happenings: a wedding, a home, and a baby aren’t as a scary as you think. 

Do recognize this is my personal take on personal finances. I am thrilled if you prefer to make different decisions in life to reach your goals and aspirations, even if they aren’t parallel to mine. That’s the beauty of this all – what you choose is yours and yours alone. Don’t let anyone make you feel that what you want is wrong. 

I’ve learned an amazing amount about personal finances in the last 3 years, and there are certain foundations I have taken away to create a healthy financial balance with. One of the biggest foundations is P.S.S.:


P.lan

Even if your personality is not type A, planning is pivotal when it comes to personal finances. Plan to beef up that emergency fund, plan to take on a new venture or life happening with preparedness. Whether it’s jotting down goals, creating spreadsheets, tracking via an app, make sure to do something. If you do not have a plan getting from one point to the next will be an absolute cluster with no direction. The biggest aspect of planning is COMMUNICATION – with your partners, friends, significant others, and family. I cannot stress that one enough! Be open, transparent, and honest – or else you may end up in a completely different direction than intended. 

S.ave

We all know saving is of utmost importance, especially when most life events can be financially stretching. Now that you have a plan set in place, increasing your tool set (money, investments, etc.) will allow you to execute your plan as successfully as possible. Saving can be done in a variety of ways, and there is not one way that will work best for each and every person. Whether it’s setting up automatic transfers to your savings account, withdrawing cash to spend to allow you to save the rest, or monitoring your savings goal on an app tracker, establish great savings habits. 

S.pend

After the hard work is over, you’re now ready to spend. This becomes the most challenging part of P.S.S. at times. With hours of planning, and weeks, months, or even years of saving – it’s just plain hard to finally spend. This is the most important aspect of P.S.S. to get comfortable with. It took me awhile to be OK with spending. But once you get in the habitual cycle of P.S.S., your realize that it becomes a comfortable and natural flow of life. You find that you are never financially in a position that is uncomfortable. You plan accordingly, you save what you can, and you spend. Three things – that’s all I find it takes before stressing yourself out beyond measure. The biggest part of spending? If you have completed planning & saving – do not feel guilty about spending! That’s right, I’m giving you permission to not feel guilt about spending your money.


 

We planned and saved for our wedding by setting a budget and tracking on a spreadsheet and an app. We stuck to it and held ourselves accountable. We researched ways that we could decrease costs – whether it was DIY’ing decor, asking for help, searching Craigslist endlessly, or purchasing bulk roses from Costco. The ultimate goal was to have a day filled with love and family, and we accomplished that without going into debt.

We planned for our first home by saving up a significant down payment. We knew we would be ready and looking to buy when interest rates were incredibly low. We purchased a home that was less than HALF of what we were pre-approved for. We held steadfast to our goals and made sure to not even look at places that were out of reach. With shows on HGTV, Pinterest, and websites with beautiful homes – it’s a challenge to not get distracted. A plan helps you stick to what you can financially afford and realistically take on.

We planned and saved for our first baby by communicating (as heavily mentioned above). Both my husband and I had similar feelings on when we would be financially sound and ready to grow our family. We gathered information from friends, family, and from our workplaces on insurance, maternity / paternity leave policies, and overall advice. We also were prepared that timing isn’t always perfect – but being open to life with widespread arms allowed us to both feel confident and reassured.

Now that I have established the cycle of P.S.S., I revisit it often and confidently. Financially, I have never felt better – even with taking on some of the biggest decisions in life. I finally was able to overcome my fears of having a wedding, purchasing a home, and having a baby – and quite honestly, it just took establishing this 3 step process (yeah, I know – that sounds like one of those cheesy new year things). Now when it comes to money, there’s no worries or stress – it’s just P.S.S.

P.S.S. it’s not as scary as you think.

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18 thoughts on “P.S.S. it’s not as scary as you think

  1. Congratulations, Alyssa – it sounds like you are building an amazing life for yourself and your new family. Don’t listen to the naysayers! Life is full of people who will attempt to enforce the ‘tyranny of the OR’. That is, you must do this OR that. In fact, success often comes from the AND – working a little harder, or being a little more clever so that you can accomplish both this AND that! Be an AND, not an OR in your own life 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much, Mr. FireStation! I absolutely love this advice. I would much rather prefer to be the ‘AND,’ than the ‘OR’ (regardless of the fact that I live in Oregon lol!). Just as growth comes from stepping outside your comfort levels, I definitely dig that success can be found in these ‘AND’ choices. Thank you for your encouragement, I hope you and your family had wonderful holidays! 🙂

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  2. I love this Alyssa! Life isn’t about building your net worth to the highest point possible. Money is simply a tool that enables you to live your life. So many of those financial guidelines you talk about are written without emotions taken into account 😉 Congrats on all the life changes lately!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Leigh, I appreciate your comment – and thanks for stopping by! 🙂 I am all for reminding myself that money is a tool, and that it can be utilize in numerous amounts of ways per each person. It took a long time for me to take emotion about of finances – but it makes things so much more feasible to enjoy the things I value in life! Thank you so much again!

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  3. Congratulations to you! I can’t squeeeeeee enough on Instagram and Twitter, so I figure I had better do it here, too. I think you hit the nail on the head with this post. For someone who was so good at piddling away my money, now I need to be content with spending on things that need to be spent on. What really helped me come to terms with our grad school tuition was to put it in a separate savings account that I now know will spend down to $0. It’s not fun to see the numbers drop, but I honestly try not to look at it. It’s the only way we can get raises, so it has to be. I try to focus on the fact that I’m thrilled to not have to take out loans like many of my coworkers. Thank you for this reminder and the perspective. AND CONGRATULATIONS! SQUUUEEEEEE! 🙂 ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much, Penny for all of your kind words!! 🙂 Finding that point to be content (especially when you see your money / numbers dwindling) – I’m going to be honest – is SO HARD. But I think back to all the times I saved intentionally, stressed out about spending, but somehow always end up back in a healthy equilibrium with my finances by continuing the positive saving & spending habits. Taking on grad school, especially as a future return on investment for career & life, is a wonderful thing! I am very happy for you (and love hearing about your grad school updates). Thank you so much again, we are so so so excited!! 🙂

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  4. Great underlying theme to this post. Go after what you want, and don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t or shouldn’t do it. People like to bring you down to their level. If they aren’t achieving something, then they’ll go out of their way to try to make you feel bad about doing something outside of the norm.

    As long as you’ve got a plan for your financial future, it doesn’t matter what others say. Just focus on achieving it.

    Thanks for sharing!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for stopping by, Go Finance Yourself! I really appreciate your words of encouragement. 🙂 It’s really great to hear from time to time as a reminder! I’ve got the plans, I’m sticking to them, and you’re right – the focus is next. Thanks again!

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  5. Big life events can be scary, but after you’ve gone through them you realize they aren’t a big deal. And that’s from an emotional AND financial perspective. Being frugal isn’t about avoiding expenses; it’s about spending your hard-earned money on things that matter most to you. It sounds like you guys are doing just fine. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much, Mrs. Picky Pincher! I appreciate that you stopped by. Big life events are especially scary when it seems like you’re always thinking / staring at them from the distance. That’s why planning is incredibly important! I definitely dig that – ‘it’s about spending your hard-earned money on things that matter most to you.’ This is wonderful because it can apply to all different things for all different people! 🙂

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  6. Yep – I’ve never understood the dogma that people have surrounding personal financial thought. Good on you for going after what you want, despite it not being what others are telling you that you should want.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Congrats!!!

    Big changes are always scary – and to be perfectly honest, the biggest things I’ve done (taking time off to travel, buying a house) involved a bit of a leap of financial faith. But they were absolutely the right moves for me.

    Liked by 2 people

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